As the sun sets I pray for the Krim family in NYC who lost both their children last night. Let’s send millions of prayers their way.
— Maria Shriver (@mariashriver) October 27, 2012
Last night I couldn’t sleep thinking about Kevin and Marina of New York, whose two children were killed by the nanny in their Manhattan home, while Kevin was on a flight back to the city and Marina was taking care of their other child, Nessie.
When Leo was born they decided to hire a nanny based on the recommendation of the nanny’s sister, whom Marina met at her daughter’s ballet class.
Yoselyn Ortega, 50, had been working for the Krim family for two years. She was treated like family, and the Krim family even flew to the Dominican Republic to meet Ortega’s family.
Here’s what happened to them on October 25, Thursday.
Lots of thoughts came to my mind:
1) Aside from the shock I felt as a mom, I also felt relief that the nanny isn’t Filipino. I dread the repercussions on countless Filipino nannies all over the world, if ever the evil nanny turned out to be Filipino.
2) I was trying to think what would motivate Yoselyn Ortega to kill the children. I’ve heard that some yayas (Filipino for nanny) take revenge on their wards whenever they feel resentment towards their employers. This was one of the speculations I read about last night.
3) I thought about some of my friends and relatives who left their careers abroad to raise their children here, where a village can really raise one child. Here there are many arms willing to hold a baby or child.
4) I thought about my own experience with four different yayas who had hurt my children—the horror stories ranged from the pinching to the dunking of the head in the toilet bowl. I don’t know for sure, and I don’t want to know. I don’t want to think or talk about it anymore.
5) Grateful as I am to the good yayas we’ve had, I’m also relieved whenever one of my kids grow old enough not to need one.
6) Yoselyn Ortega was the Krim’s first nanny. I know it’s really hard to get a nanny in New York, unlike here. But there is safety in numbers. It’s better if a nanny can also get relieved by another nanny or maid. I wouldn’t leave my children alone with only one person, that’s why I like to hire many people.
7) If you see many red flags, or if something doesn’t look or feel right, get rid of them. Many witnesses said Yoselyn Ortega seemed cold and distant. Go by your gut feel and get rid of people with bad vibes.
8) Even the best yayas have expiration dates. Some of them start out nice and sweet. You feel so grateful, you treat them like family. You spoil them and raise their salary. You give them many perks. And then after a few years they change. They’re not so nice and sweet anymore to you and your kids. You see the red flags. Don’t be afraid to let go.
9) Listen to your friends and relatives. If one of them hears or sees something wrong with how your yaya is treating your child, take heed. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
10) Countless other thoughts, many of them I can’t write about. I prayed for Marina Krim last night before falling asleep. The Krims will be in my thoughts and prayers in the days to come. I hope they find answers to their questions. I hope justice will be served. I hope they find peace. I know children cannot be replaced, but I do hope they’ll be blessed with new babies.