chuvaness
About the nanny
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Last night I couldn’t sleep thinking about Kevin and Marina of New York, whose two children were killed by the nanny in their Manhattan home, while Kevin was on a flight back to the city and Marina was taking care of their other child, Nessie.

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Marina and Kevin Krim in December 3, 2009 (Photo: Patrick McMullan)

Kevin and Maria Krim had three children: Leo was 2, Nessie is 3, and Lucia was 6.

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When Leo was born they decided to hire a nanny based on the recommendation of the nanny’s sister, whom Marina met at her daughter’s ballet class.
Yoselyn Ortega, 50, had been working for the Krim family for two years. She was treated like family, and the Krim family even flew to the Dominican Republic to meet Ortega’s family.
Here’s what happened to them on October 25, Thursday.

Lots of thoughts came to my mind:

1) Aside from the shock I felt as a mom, I also felt relief that the nanny isn’t Filipino. I dread the repercussions on countless Filipino nannies all over the world, if ever the evil nanny turned out to be Filipino.
2) I was trying to think what would motivate Yoselyn Ortega to kill the children. I’ve heard that some yayas (Filipino for nanny) take revenge on their wards whenever they feel resentment towards their employers. This was one of the speculations I read about last night.
3) I thought about some of my friends and relatives who left their careers abroad to raise their children here, where a village can really raise one child. Here there are many arms willing to hold a baby or child.
4) I thought about my own experience with four different yayas who had hurt my children—the horror stories ranged from the pinching to the dunking of the head in the toilet bowl. I don’t know for sure, and I don’t want to know. I don’t want to think or talk about it anymore.
5) Grateful as I am to the good yayas we’ve had, I’m also relieved whenever one of my kids grow old enough not to need one.
6) Yoselyn Ortega was the Krim’s first nanny. I know it’s really hard to get a nanny in New York, unlike here. But there is safety in numbers. It’s better if a nanny can also get relieved by another nanny or maid. I wouldn’t leave my children alone with only one person, that’s why I like to hire many people.
7) If you see many red flags, or if something doesn’t look or feel right, get rid of them. Many witnesses said Yoselyn Ortega seemed cold and distant. Go by your gut feel and get rid of people with bad vibes.
8) Even the best yayas have expiration dates. Some of them start out nice and sweet. You feel so grateful, you treat them like family. You spoil them and raise their salary. You give them many perks. And then after a few years they change. They’re not so nice and sweet anymore to you and your kids. You see the red flags. Don’t be afraid to let go.
9) Listen to your friends and relatives. If one of them hears or sees something wrong with how your yaya is treating your child, take heed. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
10) Countless other thoughts, many of them I can’t write about. I prayed for Marina Krim last night before falling asleep. The Krims will be in my thoughts and prayers in the days to come. I hope they find answers to their questions. I hope justice will be served. I hope they find peace. I know children cannot be replaced, but I do hope they’ll be blessed with new babies.

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marge

I am a Filipino nanny here in New york and I happen to work near the Krims.I was there when it happened, walking with the child I am taking care of.You could hear the screams as far as 5 blocks away and you could feel them penetrating your bones.What happened was still a shock to me and my employer.I am always cautious when I apply for a job as nanny, I don’t work for families who have 3 or more kids.The family I worked for the longest has twins and they were very kind to me.I believe that nannies shouldn’t… Read more »

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Dee

The Krim family has been in my thoughts for 3days now. I cannot imagine the horror. My Sunday mass was offered for them. Thatd how affected I was. Having 2 kids, withvthe youngest just 8mos, we decided not to hire a yaya. Thank God for MIL who recently just retired. My thoughts and prayers will be with the Krims for weeks.

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CVS Reply:

still thinking about them too. and more prayers

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Guest

OMG it’s every parent’s worst nightmare!!! I feel fortunate to be able to care for my children, since my third child was born in 2009. finding reliable yayas is not easy. I’ve always believed that children are resilient little critters.. they bounce back from any situation or accidents– but they certainly don’t bounce to psychotic nannies.

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Guest

This is just so sad. 🙁

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GW

Hi Ms. C, my 2 cents: –  from what I understand, Josie wasn’t a full time nanny. The kids weren’t left with her all the time. Marina Krim only hired sometimes when things got busy – while some people were saying that the nanny seemed cold and distant, this only occurred in recent months. Apparently there were money problems. Someone who knew her said that she seemed happy earlier this year because she had moved into a new apartment and the Krims were treating and paying her well. BUT, the person she was renting the apartment from came back from… Read more »

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Jamie

This is just so disturbing. I am also a pediatrician with 2 older girls and a baby boy. My eldest is also named Lucia. How creepy can that get? Just goes to show that this can really happen to anyone and we have to be vigilant. We have to be involved with our children’s lives and always go with our gut feel. Will be praying for the Krimms. 

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Peachy

I agree that we should go with our gut feel about maids. I recently got one, paid for her fare but when she got here, I felt the bad vibes. I let her go even if she didn’t complete the one month service equivalent to the cash advance. My hubby felt our girls should never be left alone with her. We both felt she was kind of unstable plus she was forever complaining about her work, wanted 2 cellphones, & she was sooo chatty. 🙁 My heart felt like breaking too when I read the story. Prayers go out to… Read more »

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Peach

The nanny is Dominican, not Ecuadorian.

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CVS Reply:

edited! thank you

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Guest

Sadly, statistics show that more kids are abused and killed by their own parents and family members than by nannies and strangers. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/dr-raj-persaud/child-protection_b_1950749.html

So let’s not say, “I’d never leave my kids to a yaya.” That’s passing judgment on the Krim couple. Marina Krim, by the way, is a stay-at-home mom. She gave up her career so she can care for her kids herself. The nanny was just there to help her out. So these horrible things can happen to anyone. Let’s not judge parents who hire yayas. Let’s just all care for each other.  

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Guest

Marina Krim was a mom blogger. Her blog was “Life with the Krim kids”. But she deactivated her blog after the incident. Her last update was 3 hours before the killing and she was talking about Leo 🙁

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CVS Reply:

she closed down her blog because there were haters saying mean things about her. how cruel some people can be

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Guest

This is highly devastating. I grew up with different yayas too until my parents decided to get rid of them and took care of us; me being the eldest of 2 daughters, since I was in grade 3 I think. My aunts took turns in caring for us. I guess it’s best children grow up with their parents. I had bad experiences with yayas too. Not all, but most 🙁 My prayers for the Krims too … So sad.

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Katrina

i grew up with different yayas- yet with two yayas who unfortunately, hurt us physically years ago. spanking with hangers and shoes, getting locked up in a room, and being screamed at every afternoon are definitely not the highlight of my childhood. i still have the marks of all those spanks up to now on my thighs with them occasionally hiding some of our goods from the pastry to bring to their homelands. now, the yaya calls and texts me which i find weird. i’d never hire someone i don’t even know (even if it’s from a reputable agency) to… Read more »

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Guest

Oh my God. I cannot imagine. My mind is racing.  1) I was extremely lucky to have one yaya from birth until the age of about 11 or 12. She was amazing (although she occasionally clashed with extended family members). When she left, she went on to be a well-paid agency yaya for expat families. She never had kids of her own though 🙁  2) Living abroad has made me realize that Pinoy culture has spoiled us with abundant help for raising kids (whether it’s hired help or extended family). Now that I’m expecting my first baby, I am kind… Read more »

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teadrinker05

I endured living with my folks despite the stress that goes with not being on our own. When my kid grew old enough not to depend on my mom, that’s when we moved out. I can’t bear the thought of entrusting my kid to a stranger.

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