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A stalker’s guide to Pope Francis’ visit to the Philippines
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In 1995, I was one of one million people that went to Luneta to see Pope John Paul II in person.
I was 20 years younger and had the energy to get up early in the morning, trek there, and have a view of the Pope the size a rice grain. That small.
It was also around this time of month and the weather was cool—that was a great comfort to the masses.

Twenty years later, I really do love Pope Francis, but hearing the word “portalet” on TV is enough to convince me to watch the events on TV, at home.
Besides, as my friend Miguel says, “If you really wanna see the Pope, just go to Rome.”
Oo nga naman.
But for those who are planning to stalk or catch a glimpse of the Pope either on TV or on the road, here’s an infographic on what his schedule will be like in the next few days.

Pope intinerary

Helpful hints:
1) Backpacks will not be allowed (think Boston marathon), so I suggest you bring out the fanny pack you’ve been hiding in the closet.
2) Minimize your eating or drinking to avoid the portalet scenario.
3) I would not recommend the adult diaper because those things are damn hot. Trust me, I have tried them in the hospital.
4) Though the Pope is a holy man, he is not Jesus. If you are sick, don’t think you will be cured if you get a glimpse of him. Just stay home.
5) Best to leave the elderly, little kids and babies at home too, for their safety and your sanity.
6) I’ve read that the Pope doesn’t like his ring to be kissed, so if you have the chance to get close to him, just keep that in mind.
Any other friendly tips are welcome in the comments section.

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