Uncle Hans

Our Dutch uncle Hans died yesterday in his home in Driebergen. He was 67.
I first met him in Holland in 2000, before Jeroen and I got married, when Jeroen’s mom passed away and he delivered a eulogy during Mass.
He was crazy, funny, lived life to the fullest, and loved to smoke and drink.
He made Jeroen’s mom laugh so much while she was in the hospital.

Uncle Hans

He first came to the Philippines in November 2000, for our wedding. After that we would come often and stay with us.
He would cook Jeroen’s favorite dish, hachee, whose smell drove me insane when I was pregnant.

Dutch Hachee with mashed potatoes
Dutch hachee, pronounced “ha-shay”

He loved coming to the Philippines and hanging out with Jeroen until he contracted a mysterious disease on his leg, which they couldn’t figure out in the Netherlands.
He thought he got it in the Philippines and was afraid to come back. But I didn’t think so. I wanted to bring him back here and have him treated and taken care of at home, but he never made it back.
I cannot remember the last time I saw him. Maybe it was 2005. This was taken in Kimpura.

Thinking of Uncle Hans

He was devoted to Our Lady. I gave him a beautiful statue of Our Lady, which he took home to Holland. On one of his trips he also brought back a Christmas parol to Holland.

hans huis
Uncle Hans (L) in his home with Opa

I woke up this noon when Jeroen came home for lunch, and he told me that Uncle Hans had died in his bed at home.
He didn’t die from the skin disease, but basically poor health.
I truly wish he had died in his sleep and that Our Lady and Jeroen’s mom welcomed him to heaven.
It felt like Steve Jobs all over again, just a dark feeling of gloom and sadness. Jeroen and I went to the 6 PM mass today where I cried for Uncle Hans as I want to say I’m sorry for my shortcomings. I’m sorry I cannot hug you and hear you say “ik hou van jou.” But most of all, we miss and thank you for all the help and love you gave our family.

Ano daw?

I’m not laughing at the beauty contestant. I’m laughing at KC Montero, who tries to keep a straight face while the beauty contestant struggles with a very difficult question (hell, even I couldn’t answer it). Kawawa naman si KC!!


So, so sorry!

Dear kind reader,
I was able to fix my comments counter by myself. It took hours of trial and error. But God is good. I prayed and He helped me.
During the process, I discovered just a few hours ago that I had hundreds of pending comments that I had never seen before. I was able to approve up to 30 days only. The rest are probably gone. And all I can say is, sayang.
There were days I wondered how come not much comments were coming in, when all the while they were there, hiding under a “pending” button I had never bothered to click before. And for that, I am so, so sorry.
I’m sorry I didn’t see your comments, but I’m more sorry for myself because sayang ang comments.
The Disqus commenting feature seems to be more complicated than it looks.


Oops, the commenting feature of this Disqus has a glitch and reset all my comment counters to zero—even though the comments are all there.
While looking for a solution to the problem, please click on “O” or Discuss to read the juicy comments.
Thank you.

Simple Girl vs. Preview Girl (final)

Warning: Contains spoilers

Ram Escaler has a problem. He’s having an affair and yet he doesn’t ever hide his phone.

Derek Ramsey

So while he falls asleep, he fails to read a message from his mistress.
His wife picks up the phone and texts the mistress back to call back: “Wife is here, can’t talk. Please call me. Just wanna hear your voice.”
Kara calls Ram’s phone, wife hears her voice and confirms the affair.
The revelation turns the simple housewife into another Preview Girl—she suddenly becomes chicer!

Cristine Reyes

It also encourages her to turn their bedroom into a boudoir while she tries to seduce her husband who is not in the mood, due to the fact that he already had some.

A chance encounter at a department store finds Kara and Sharmaine both wearing Barney (not Barneys) purple and fighting over a very ugly bag, which Grace and Jay point out is by YSL. (It could’ve come from Secosana or uglybags.com, as far as I’m concerned. As far as my brother Dennis is concerned, they should’ve been fighting over a Valextra bag—don’t ask.)
Wife convinces mistress to have coffee, which leads to dinner at home.
Why a beautiful, strong-will heiress would allow herself to be humiliated by her lover’s wife in their home is beyond me.
The whole scene is a mess and I cannot stand all of Sharmaine’s lines.
Dinner is a disaster. Ram scolds his wife, then mistress runs to her BFFs where screams (a must in Pinoy movies) why she has to fall in love with a married man.

Anne Curtis, Ricci Chan

It is unclear why after scolding his wife, Ram decides to end his affair with Kara, who happens to have a bed inside her living room.

In a very insensitive move, Ram decides to take his wife to the resort when he delivers the orders from uglyfurniture.com. They also indulge in foreplay in a very public swimming pool—in full view of the heiress who owns the resort.
Here’s where the two women have a showdown in bathing suits, and we are very much distracted by Anne Curtis’s wardrobe malfunction which lasts more than one scene. (Did anyone notice that her boobs were falling off her flimsy top?)
After a very ugly cat fight, the Escalers pack up and go home and Sharmaine decides to leave her husband.

Ram’s cottage industry closes down. In short, karma is taking its course.
Then Kara turns into Fatal Attraction and stalks him like a lunatic while he completely ignores her. It doesn’t matter if she’s screaming her head off or falling apart—she is always the perfect cover girl 24/7. Meaning—she is never really ugly.

Anne Curtis

In a final scene, we predict a very bad car accident which will have a casualty—will it be Ram or Kara?
The car accident is so horrible, Ram crashes into a truck carrying iron bars, which penetrate his windshield and enter his body.
This is where Jay and Grace are officially grossed out, while I kind of enjoyed it :)
Unfortunately the gory scene was borrowed from the Korean horror movie, The Wig.
Check this out.

The Wig

The Wig

The Wig

Happy Halloween!

The Wig

The grossest part is when Ram is wheeled into the E.R. with a rod sticking out of his chest— I seriously don’t know how he survived it because that would mean someone had the time to saw off the iron bar very carefully=tons of blood loss. But he did survive, because hey, this is a Tagalog movie.
Here’s where Kara has a change of heart and decides to give up the man and leave for New York with very minimal luggage.

In one last predictable Pinoy movie scene, the three meet up by chance at Mercato Centrale (of all places) where we finally find out what the family business is: they sell Angry Bird cupcakes.

Angry Birds cupcakes......

To let us know time has elapsed, Kara dons an ugly wig, while the Escalers are toting an ugly kid (sorry, God!) #truth.
I have seen this scene before in Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin and other Pinoy movies where a broken love affair/couple bumps into each other randomly after a couple of years, and one of them has a child.

From a scale of 1-10, I would give the movie a 5.
While that is average, it is worth noting that while we were cringing the whole time, none of us three ever mentioned walking out of the movie like we have done in past Pinoy movies.

No Other Woman

Simple Girl vs. Preview Girl (Part 2)

No Other Woman is about a love triangle between a young married (childless) couple (Derek Ramsay + Cristine Reyes) and a jetskiing resort world heiress (Anne Curtis).
Derek plays Ram Escaler whose day job is Artistic Director of uglyfurniture.com.

Derek Ramsey

He is married to Sharmaine, a simple girl housewife who crochets on her free time (Cristine Reyes).

Cristine Reyes

The couple live in a gaudy, gilded house, along with Sharmaine’s family. Her father looks like a truck driver and her mother is a very simian-looking Carmi Martin. One wonders what the family business is.
While the whole house may have been decorated by April Boy Regino, luckily, Ram and Sharmaine’s bedroom remain in good taste.
One day, a very gay designer walks into Ram’s showroom to place a big order of furniture for a new resort owned by Tirso Cruz (not the third, but the Pip).
Ram gets to fly out into the island/resort to meet the boss (Pip) who turns out to be his father’s old frienemy. Here it is revealed that Ram has real baggage as he is estranged from his loser father.
During his free time, Ram dives into the water, where the jetskiing heiress, Kara Zalderiaga (Anne Curtis) almost hits him. For some reason, she chooses to dive into the water, where she loses her bikini top.

Anne Curtis

Fortunately, the bikini top is conveniently floating very near to Ram. He fishes this out of the water, while Kara encourages him to put it on her. (Here starts the grossfest. Sorry but I’m one of the minority who doesn’t find Derek cute. I find him short, dark, and bald. Plus the whole bikini top scene is so Pinoy komiks—cringe!!)
They meet again at the boss’s office where Ram finds out that the girl he flirted with in the water is actually the boss’s daughter (read: Tirso). It doesn’t hurt that she’s dressed like a Preview cover girl 24/7.

Cristine Reyes

Through Kara’s help, Ram gets the green light to design and manufacture furniture for the resort.
Because of this, the two have to meet up and work together. This includes teaching Kara how to play golf in a bathing suit.
During one of their business meetings in their swim suits in the water at sunset, Ram informs Kara that he’s married. She replies in the tone of Friends With Benefits: no problem, no falling in love, now kiss me you fool (Cringefest #2!!).
Meanwhile, simple housewife Sharmaine has dialed too many missed calls to her husband. She decides to go to the laundry section of her house to inspect his garments, where she finds the wedding ring inside one of his trousers.

Cristine Reyes

He is so in trouble!! The suspicious housewife further investigates and opens his agenda where he conveniently left a Post-It note of his dinner date at 7th High. This is where Simple Girl goes to meet Preview Girl in the restroom, and where the two lovers are nearly caught in the act of a dinner date—to which I say: if you’re having an affair, you do not have dinner at Bonifacio High Street, you go to St. Lucia East.

(To be continued….napagod ako)

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