chuvaness
I am done studying (and why Viber parent groups make me feel inadequate)
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“Tapos na po ako mag-aral,” a respected magazine editor famously said when talking about parents doing their kids’ homework.
Both she and I have three sons enrolled in the same school.
I can honestly say the editor is intelligent and accomplished. I myself didn’t do well in school. I was a mediocre student, but I don’t think I did badly as an adult. I am still a work in progress. However, I don’t want to study again.

I have two college degrees—one from Assumption and one from The New School for Social Research. I have three sons. Two of them started as honor students—now is a different story.
My youngest son, however, is struggling to pass his subjects.
I try to help my kids in school when it is necessary, such as completing an intricate Chinese lantern that only one who went to art school could possibly accomplish (read: a Chinese lantern that only a pattern maker of Viktor & Rolf could understand!! How can my 7th grade son without an art background do this on his own?? It took me three tries to finish it!)

Red lantern I made
My son’s school project

Viktor and Rolf
Viktor & Rolf gown

While my two sons pass all their subjects without really trying, my youngest son is harder to teach. He has a short concentration span. I blame YouTube and Pewdiepie. How I wish my son had never held an iPad.
I am much older compared with the parents of my youngest son’s classmates (read: I have less energy!!) My body gets tired at 6 PM and I am simply too exhausted to helicopter parent.
I feel so pressured and inadequate whenever I see the devotion of younger parents in our Viber group, how sincerely concerned they are about their sons’ homework etc.

I grew up without a tutor. I was simply left to my own devices when I was in school. A couple of times maybe the yaya helped me with math or an art project. But my parents didn’t do my homework or school projects. That’s why now I don’t think I have to do it for my kids. Sure, I’m ready to do the costumes and the art stuff. Other than that, tapos na ako mag-aral.

When I get home, I just really want to lie down and relax. I also pity my kids who wake up at 5:30 or 6 AM and come home between 4 PM to 8 PM. Sometimes they just want to play basketball and sometimes they just want to lie down and look at their phones. I really don’t blame them.

How I wish life, school, parenting weren’t so difficult.
That said, may I repost once again a clip from Michael Moore’s documentary why Finnish school rank highest in the world. Cause maybe we’re doing it wrong!

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  • acidicboy

    Hi C… parent viber group is just another layer of stress we don’t need in our lives. I don’t see the point of being in it, and I refuse to join one. they said it’s a good way to check if your kids have homework, quiz, test, etc… but then the glaring things I noticed before is that these parent viber groups are a deep well of pissing contests, throwing shades, intrigues, complaints about teachers and pinned articles on parenting that you and I don’t need.

    I’ve refused to join these parent viber groups. I teach my girls myself, and if they miss out or don’t pull their weight when it comes to reminding me of homeworks, quizzes and tests then the responsibility is on them. Dati spoonfeeding na nga issues sa X and I schools, now ginawa pang spoonfeeding by groups! Peace 🙂

    F

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  • Peaches Cuenco

    I feel you, Cecile! I get home not earlier than 7pm and I just don’t have the energy to deal with SG Math, HeKaSi, tamang pagbabaybay, and macrame art projects. My husband deals with all the school stuff otherwise I’ll lose my mind.

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  • gusm

    School days in Pinas are way too long (I remember my days in Canada where school days started at 8 am and concluded at 3:00 pm with an hour lunch in between). Also, in Pinas, too many subjects and too much emphasis on memorization instead of teaching them how to think. Get a good tutor for your youngest son, a good tutor can teach him how to be patient and stay focus when doing his school work.

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  • soleil1031

    You should definitely check out Acacia School in Sta Rosa Laguna, even just to visit. It’s like being in a different world. Children learn through play, movement and art. Curriculum is based on Waldorf schools abroad.

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  • Carmela Maniego

    You’re definitely not inadequate! Parenting styles are different and I can truly say that you are such a great mom to the boys. What matters is that you’ve raised them well (very well at that) and they love you. 🙂

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    CVS Reply:

    yes they love me, thank you 🙂

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  • I have the highest regard for you as a parent. You have 3 boys! That’s a handful and not everyone can juggle motherhood and work as well. You deserve a pat on the back and really shouldn’t feel inadequate. *hugs*

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    CVS Reply:

    thank you Zee!

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