One Sunday while having lunch at my parents’ house, we distinctly heard the word “sh*t” coming from the kids’ playroom.
My dad rounded up the little kids at the lunch table and said, “Who said a bad word?”
The kids pointed to my son Markus, who was 7 at that time. (oopsie)
“Did you say a bad word?” Lolo asked. “Where did you learn that?”
“My mommy said a bad word!” Markus tried to justify as all eyes turned to me.
“Really? What did your mom say?”
“F. O. C. U. P.”
Everyone laughed out loud when they figured out what he was trying to spell.
“Why did you say that?” Dad asked.
“I was talking to McDonald’s delivery on the phone. Our food hadn’t come after two hours. I said, you f*cked up. I’m sorry, I told the kids not to copy me!”
And so Vanity Fair explains why this happens to me sometimes when confronted with bad customer service.
Not justifying, just saying I am what I am.
Philippines Is World’s Most Emotional Country, While Neighboring Singapore Doesn’t Feel Much of Anything Anymore
The results of a three-year-long Gallup poll suggest that certain countries are more “emotional” than others.
The Washington Post reports that the “survey asks five questions, meant to gauge whether the respondent felt significant positive or negative emotions the day prior to the survey. The more times that people answer ‘yes’ to questions such as ‘Did you smile or laugh a lot yesterday?’, the more emotional they’re deemed to be.”
The least emotional country: Singapore.
The most emotional country: the Philippines.
According to several maps, the world’s most emotional country and the world’s least emotional country are in shocking geographic proximity to each other, separated only by the South China Sea.
Is this body of water the cause of the pathos disparity? In other words, is the South China Sea gas-lighting the Philippines and being totally normal to Singapore?
In an attempt to solve this troubling psychodrama, we sat the three of them down for group therapy.
VF Daily: Thanks for being here today, Philippines, Singapore, and South China Sea.
Singapore: [Silently nods.]
Philippines: Yeah, a “thank you” is nice. Thank you. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s fine, whatever, thank you for saying thank you.
South China Sea: [Rolls eyes.]
Philippines: Did you just fucking roll your eyes at me? Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me. I swear to God—
South China Sea: Jesus, calm down. I can tell today is going to be one of those days with you. . .
VF Daily: So, I’m picking up some tension.
Singapore: Really? I’m not getting that.
VF Daily: Between the Philippines and the South China Sea. What’s up, guys?
Philippines: Oh, like, you ask “what’s up” like I’m supposed to just read out a list of complaints, just jump right into it, like I’m constantly in the mood to talk about what’s going on with us. Like the South China Sea is the only thing in my life. Did you ever think maybe I’m just tired? I’m so tired. [Begins weeping.] I’m just. . . so, so tired. Why doesn’t anyone seem to just understand that? I’m profoundly tired and no one ever cuts me any breaks. It’s all I can do to stay awake and try to be true to myself and just, everyone expects all this stuff from me all the time.
VF Daily: What sort of stuff?
Philippines: Oh so now you’re taking the South China Sea’s side? You need proof that I’m so tired? Look at my life.
Singapore: [Purses lips.]
South China Sea: [Looks at Singapore, shakes head.] This is—this is kind of what I mean, you know?
Philippines: Don’t interrupt me! Don’t fucking interrupt me.
“There is a bit of Amalayer in all of us.” — Twitter